Why are men so f*cked up?
“Why are men so f*cked up,” a friend moaned to me last night as yet another date with a guy had turned sour.
They have a good point as women and men complain to me all the time about their relationships with guys from hell who carry around way to much emotional baggage.
The answer may be simple, women are in general much more likely to visit the doctor or a therapist when something is wrong. Men are taught from childhood to simply “man up”, when it comes to their issues so they become masters of suppression and bottling up anything they need to address. This over time can cause anger, stress and depression which again get ignored or makes the guy feel ashamed and weak. There is a stigma that people seeking help are weak and useless when in fact I see it as the opposite.
This is changing though and I see many more guys taking the first steps to getting well needed help. Clients often worry they are coming across as mad, crazy, weak or a lost cause when they start opening up and they don’t often acknowledge how brave they are to come to see me. I cannot but help admire anyone who comes to see a total stranger and share their deepest and darkest fears, worries and behaviours so they can be changed.
I think as a society we should be embracing therapy to help enrich our minds and lives instead of just bumbling along hoping for the best.
If we need to learn new skills for example a new career, then we would not hesitate and I see gathering skills to deal with life and the mind just as vital. Empowering yourself is one of the best investments you can make for your future and it’s never too late as some of clients in their 70’s will testify.
If more people got help for their issues wouldn’t the world be a more relaxed and easier place?
I think so.
Paul Sheppard is The Life Doctor and is available for therapy sessions online and in person in Brighton and Hove, UK.