The Life Doctor

confidence

Personally Deluded

“I take everything so personally,” my new client said.  “Can you help me become more confident and not so paranoid when it comes to what people think of me?” “Do you think we are all judging you?” I asked. “Yeah, I am always wondering what people think of me and I worry that I am doing something wrong all the time. I know it’s not rational but I can’t help myself.” “ I bet you hate being criticised don’t you?” “Oh god yes, I can’t stand it, makes me feel really shit for days ...

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Proud

I didn’t see them all picking up rocks behind my back as I walked with a gang of “friends” to an isolated field.  As the circle formed around me and the rocks were held ready I should have seen what was coming next. The word “run,” from one lad should have been a clue but my confusion at how it went from all friendly to this made me freeze on the spot like a rabbit caught in the headlights.  “Fucking queer,” came next as the first stones hit me hard, ...

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Getting over Yourself

Let’s make it quite clear even though it may seem a little harsh at first. Not many if any are that interested in you.  So if you do happen to be in any social situation which you feel we are all watching and judging you, the likely hood is we are not.  We are like you mostly lost in our own little bubbles of reality thinking about all sorts of things, we will not really be thinking about you. If by any chance you catch our attention and notice you we will ...

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Caveman Control?

Well it's not about control which does appeal to anxious people but it's more about how do we influence and work with the caveman. Especially when he is being too horny, anxious, angry, stressed or indulging in bad habits which are causing problems? You have to remember that the caveman’s priority is to keep you safe. He also loves to feel important, he loves to feel secure, loved and connected.  He will prioritise these sometimes in what feels like a random way but the reality is that the caveman will do ...

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Your Horny Caveman

Your Horny Caveman Why do some people find it so hard to practise safe sex or even remain faithful? Good intentions can go out the window as soon as someone feels horny.  This powerful sexual urge can get people indulge in things they wouldn’t normally do.  Amazing how many after an orgasm think “What the f*ck was I doing?  Why did I risk my life like that?  I will never do that again!”  (until the next bout of horniness kicks in.) It’s no point me telling them how stupid it was or the ...

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I’m not Good Enough

“Phew I’m tired..maybe I should slow down, I wish this run was over, I don’t think I can do this, how long is left to go?” My first run after a few weeks break is always a tough one and my negative thoughts inner dialogue can go a little crazy. It likes to speed up and get louder so I act now on what it says. But why should I? Thoughts are just thoughts...they are not even real so why believe what they say? The problem most people have is that they believe ...

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Anger, Stress and Anxiety Management

One thing some clients are surprised by is how angry they come across, the anger within influenced their thoughts and  behaviours and they just accepted this as part of their normal behaviour. They often wonder what other peoples problems are with them.  They can also get stuck in the “this is me” trap where they just assume their provocative, self opinionated, reactive and defensive nature was just “who they are.” They had originally come to see me to have their anxiety or lack of confidence worked with as that is what ...

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Top Ten Self Worth Destroyers

Top Ten Self Worth Destroyers Believing you are the negatives from your past Creating a false negative future about yourself and believing it to be true Picking and nagging at yourself or others Being in a negative relationship which enforces the idea that there is something wrong with you Believing there is something wrong with you Being rejected by the people you are trying to force into believing your version of reality Being who others expect you to be and not being who you want to be Masking the pain of the past with unhealthy habits Fighting yourself and ...

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Low Self Belief Part One

Working as a therapist in Brighton & Hove and internationally with clients with low self esteem, self belief, confidence, self worth, depression, stress and anxiety over the years has given me some amazing insights into why they are experiencing life the way they are.  This article is about where this comes from and part two will continue this and focus on what can be done to begin turning this around. Human nature can be cruel and people can make us feel quite sh*t about ourselves with careless comments, bullying and judgmental prejudice.  ...

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