What If I do it?
Obsessive thoughts part 2
Have you ever stood at the edge of a cliff, bridge or high building and had the alarming thought about jumping off?
In fact some people are so scared of these thoughts that they avoid any situation which could result in them being tempted to jump and end their lives.
Another common one is being in a kitchen with sharp knives or boiling water and the thought emerges which shows themselves being cut or burning themselves. Of course if they try to suppress those images the thought just gets stronger which is interpreted to mean they must want to do it. The reality is...of course you don't and you won't. If you are still not convinced then please get help so you can deal with that fear directly.
Common scary thoughts include:
Self harm
Harming others through direct or indirect action
Hurting babies or children directly or indirectly
Sex with children
Losing control
Dramatic death thoughts
All of the above thoughts are normal
The mind is very good at showing you what you don't want to happen and your emotional response will determine if the thought is shown again. For example people are scared of thoughts of sex or hurting children, if the thought produces fear of doing that then trying to make the thought go away can result in the thought gaining strength. If the thought produces mainly disgust then the thought tends to not be repeated. Fear tells your mind that what you were thinking must have been very important and will keep it lingering and repeating until it becomes unimportant.
If you are bored of the thought it also isn't repeated. Hence why giving the thought your full attention reduces its power, just like the exercise below which if you have not done, you could give it a try.
Dealing with the thought experiment:
Picture for me a thought which may feel obsessive or you don't like much when it appears.
Instead of trying to get rid of the thought, give it your full attention for as long as you can until your mind wanders to something else.
As soon as it has wandered to something else go back to the original thought and repeat.
Your mind hates focusing on boring stuff including thoughts which are repetitive.
You should notice that your attention span gets shorter on the obsessive thought as your mind literally starts to get bored of it. (we only have around 30 seconds of attention span).
Keep repeating until the thought no longer can be sustained or creates weaker or no emotional responses.
Obsessive thinking can be treated by working with the thoughts and working out if there are other issues and anxiety problems which need addressing. Therapy is great at addressing these problems and relieving the stress surrounding obsessive thinking.
If you have obsessive thoughts then it may be worth checking out these tips below to reduce the pressure on the limbic system which is responsible for your anxiety levels. It is also worth seeing a therapist to help you of there are any root issues that need addressing.
1. Drop the caffeine as it's the last thing your mind needs, it kicks in the survival mode which you are suffering from already.
2. Let go of watching the news and reading newspapers, as they are designed to literally piss you off.
3. Learn to relax thought mindfulness, meditation even if for just a few minutes at a time. This really works.
4. Get help learning to vent your anger, frustration in safe and productive ways (future article coming on this)
5. Get help letting go of guilt from the past which also adds pressure to your limbic system.
6. No point trying to be calmer if you are watching programs which get your heart racing through fear and tension.
7. Exercise is a life saver for many with anxiety, I cannot express enough how this really helps the mind become calmer and more relaxed.
8. Get therapy help for any rituals or OCD behaviour associated with obsessive thoughts.
9. Connect with friends more socially for support and good times
10. Let go of bad habits and work to change habits which hold you back and affect your mental health. Smoking, drugs, wrong crowd, over working, drinking too much, mindless television etc.
Next blog will be about how to vent and release pressure from within, I find this a vital tool to use when dealing with irrational emotions. As you know suppression doesn't work so confronting the thoughts and feelings by working them out with a
Emotional Resistance is Futile.....
As the Borg like to remind the planets or ships they invade in the Star Trek series "Resistance is futile" what us humans resist within our lives tends to persist. Working with clients all these years has shown me how brilliant it would be if we were shown how to handle emotions. It seems that from a young age we are greatly confused by parents, teachers or other adult influences not to cry, feel anger or anything else when feeling upset, later we are told not to bottle it up and to let it all out. No wonder then that clients come to me with programmed responses which are not helpful when handling how they feel. How often have you felt an emotion arising within you and you have started to resist experiencing it only for it to get worse and drag on for hours, days and even in some cases weeks, months and years?
What happens for so many people is that they begin to fear experiencing an emotion so much that their life becomes ruled by trying to avoid feeling an emotion which their minds are now perceiving as so dangerous that the flight or fight response begins to kick in often creating panic attacks, anxiety and depression if left unchecked.
Common emotions / feelings people try to resist and avoid are:
Rejection
Loneliness
Boredom
Frustration
Fear
Guilt
Anger
Resisting emotions creates a battle within and this inner conflict creates a whole range of toxic chemicals which your mind and body create to deal with this situation and over time can to lead to feeling exhausted, dissociated with life, feeling over emotional, sensitive and feeling on the edge. If you find yourself saying "I should'nt be feeling this," then you are not accepting what is happening right now.
What you can do if this applies to you is to learn to not fear experiencing emotions, as they are just that...an emotion. The Borg feared emotions and also saw them as weak but then again they would not get to experience the wonders of passion, joy, excitement and love. Emotions and feelings come and if left to complete their cycle will pass. Just imagine not fearing rejection! You can also learn to experience the world in a way which reduces unhelpful emotions rising as your new perspectives create a helpful response instead. Life feels much easier when not burdened with an over sensitive and emotional states of mind.
Some tips to think about when it comes to experiencing emotions:
When you feel an uncomfortable emotion arising, allow yourself to experience it by simply exploring how it feels. Where do you feel that emotion? How strong is it? What happens when you explore it with each out breath?
Is the emotion based on a future prediction? Are you fortune telling? Is it 100% true that it will happen? What other possibilties could happen which you would prefer? What can you do right now to help this? If nothing then what could you focus your attention on instead?
What is the bigger picture about this emotion? Explore all possibilities linked to it by creating a map with the emotion in the centre and link each possibility to it. For example. Feeling rejected as you might not have heard back from someone. Are they busy? Did they get your message? Are they waiting until an appropriate time to talk to you?
Are you making the situation about you when it is actually someone elses problem?
Breath into the emotion and allow it to transform through it's natural cycle.
Most importantly if you find the emotions too painful or hard to deal with then go see someone who can help. I see therapy as a sort of coaching on the stuff we should have been taught but instead have been left to our own devizes on.
Trying to hold onto emotions is also creating resistance. Many people try to recreat happiness over and over and that certainly becomes futile as that is exhausting going from one fix to the next.
Life is too short to keep battling how you feel within and there is no winner in that war.
Moods and your Guts
As Olympians go for the gold in Vancouver, even the steeliest are likely to experience that familiar feeling of "butterflies" in the stomach. Underlying this sensation is an often-overlooked network of neurons lining our guts that is so extensive some scientists have nicknamed it our "second brain".
A deeper understanding of this mass of neural tissue, filled with important neurotransmitters, is revealing that it does much more than merely handle digestion.....
Read more at Scientific American
Emotions and Physical Pain
Getting a flu shot this fall? Canadians scientists have found that focusing on a pretty image could alleviate the sting of that vaccine. According to a new Université de Montréal study, published in the latest edition of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS), negative and positive emotions have a direct impact on pain.
"Emotions -- or mood -- can alter how we react to pain since they're interlinked," says lead author Mathieu Roy, who completed the study as a Université de Montréal PhD student....
Read more at Science Daily
Extreme Empaths
I used to love horror movies but as I have grown older I now find them quite gross and for me life is too short to watch gross stuff that just does not feel good. Whilst it might feel uncomfortable to me just imagine not being able to watch anything like that without writhing around in agony!
This is the case for Jane Barrett , she writhes in agony whenever the actors on the screen feel pain. "When I see violence in films I have an extreme reaction," she says. "I simply have to close my eyes. I start to feel nauseous and have to breathe deeply." She is just one of many people who suffer from a range of disorders that give rise to "extreme empathy". Some of these people, like Barrett, empathise so strongly with others that they experience the same physical feelings - whether it's the tickle of a feather or the cut of a knife. Others, who suffer from a disorder known as echopraxia, just can't help immediately imitating the actions of others, even in inappropriate situations.
Read more at New Scientist
