Anxiety, Confidence and The Power of Hypnosis
Many of you reading this may be a little curious as to how a therapist like myself works with powerful therapies like hypnosis, NLP, IEMT, NLP, counselling or any other tools I use to change anxiety. With your curiosity in mind I thought I would write a short article hopefully answering any questions you may have. If I have not then you can always contact me to ask me directly what you want to know. I work in Brighton & Hove or online with people around the country or world.
The biggest frustration many people have with anxiety is that they know their thoughts and reactions are in their words "stupid." They hate the irrational dark thoughts which create behaviours and feelings they know deep down, simply are not right and out of context with the situation. Feeling powerless adds to the anxiety and they simply do not know what to do next to help themselves and it's not as if we learn how to manage the mind in school is it? In my view it's pot luck as to what happens next when faced with an over active limbic system which is the survival and emotional centre of the brain.
Imagine an area of your brain which scans like a radar all of life around you and reacts in an instant to anything which threatens your wellbeing. It does this brilliantly by locking out any part of you which will question the danger so you react on instinct instead as the questioning may take up precious life saving time. This really works well in real life threatening danger but in today's society where we have never been so safe in our history, this reaction causes more harm than good. As most clients will tell me, fear of fear is a real problem for them as they hate it when their minds kick into reactive survival mode when it's completely unnecessary.
Why does it do it?
There can be many reasons but here are some common ones:
Traumatic past experiences creating memories which are referenced unfairly to protect them from future harm.
Suppressed anger from childhood or past experiences.
Guilt from past experiences (never underestimate the power of guilt, if it wasn't for this one I wouldn't have so many Catholic clients. Sad but true.)
A combination of past experiences which have stimulated the limbic system to be over worked.
Stress (they are calling this the black death of the 21st century, it's not an exaggeration either).
Interesting but poor lifestyle choices with drugs, drink, food etc
More clients are mentioning to me how their minds seemed to change after smoking the stronger forms of weed out there. Mind bending drugs seems to live up to their name but I bet the smoker wasn't thinking about developing paranoia for months or years after as side effect.
What does hypnosis do then?
Well it's not a magic cure that's for sure but it's powerful enough when combined with other therapies to change the way the brain is perceiving danger. Which results in a more calmer and confident attitude. Each client is different so using just one therapy is in my opinion a bit limited so a combination is used to help get each person to where they want to be as quickly, thoroughly and as successfully as possible.
Hypnosis is an altered state of mind which people can experience in different ways, some feel likes it's day dreaming, some feel deep in some sort of trance, some remember nothing, some remember everything. The best part of my work is to help each client learn to learn self hypnosis and program their own minds to change as who want's to rely on a therapist to do it? In my view part of the mind change is to go from powerless to powerful by being empowered to handle their own emotional states and program their own minds. Programming takes place through verbal, visual and feeling suggestions which influence how the mind processes life around you. Hypnotherapy is simply hypnosis with the therapy part added to influence positive change in the mind. My work always focuses on the limbic system becoming calmer and more proactive instead of reactive.
As one client remarked me to a few weeks ago "I can sort of remember what you said but it felt like my brain was being rewired. I just feel differently about that situation now, almost as if it never happened to me and it doesn't matter anymore."
That client in particular was able to carry on their own programming to continue their own progress as they had other goals in mind to use it for.
Hypnotherapy does work differently on some people as yes it's true it's all about who is more perceptible my work takes that into account, still making the combination approach is the best likely way to get the results desired.
Another way of working is through the client appearing to receive counselling, not that I am giving to give much away but I use the power of suggestion through our conversations to enhance our work together. The session is as proactive as I can make it, what happens next is the hopefully honest feedback which then gives me the information to fine tune further sessions to get the results wanted.
Will I need lots of sessions?
I have no idea how many sessions someone will need. I can only work as thoroughly, quickly and as successfully as I can by dealing with symptoms and the possible root of the problem. I do get clients who want me to just treat the symptoms which is really the lazy approach for the therapist and doesn't treat the problem. It's quick and easy money for the therapist who doesn't care about ethics or having the client relapse in the future. The client only comes when they can afford it and between sessions are given plenty to do to continue their own progress.
Can't you just do what Derren Brown or Paul Mckenna does on the television?
The people you see on these programmes have often gone through quite a few elimination processes to see if they are going to be susceptible for the dramatic results you see on television. You don't get to see who hasn't made the grade for good television and I don't and can't just pick the clients who I think will make me look like a better therapist. I have a great success rate which improves all the time through my passion in learning new ways of working with the mind and developing strategies for handling life feeling more confident, calm and in control. I am not the perfect therapist who promises what I cannot deliver, your mind is a grand experiment using therapies which with some personal tuning can deliver some powerful results. There's no guarantee but I can do my best as all I am interested in is getting you to have the life you could have.
After all my motto is "life is simply too short not to."
Picture supplied by Salvatore Vuono
2012 Intentions for a Better Life
Many of you will be looking at January 2012 as a time to make some big changes in areas of your life which need a bit of a kick up the butt.
The problem is though that some of you won't stick to the changes not because you don't want the change but simply because of a lack of a strategy. Some others will simply give up because the mind is that clever at going back to what was comfortable.
Here are some strategies, perspectives and points to remember when it comes to making changes with the intention to better your life.
Don't give panic your unconscious with too large a goal. If you intend to lose weight for example then saying to yourself lose 3 stone can seem like an unconscious mountain to climb. Break it down into smaller parts by starting with goal for each week or fortnight.
Learn to calm down and relax your mind, even if it's for a few minutes at a time as stressed minds find it hard to keep focus and make good decisions on best intentions.
Drop the caffeine if stressed or anxious. The caffeine triggers the flight or fight response which is the last thing you need to help you with your goals. It does't perk you up as believed so don't fall for that old myth.
Stop being hard on yourself as it just stresses out your mind and lowers your self esteem which in turn leads to your mind seeking comfort from old habits you want to let go of. The amount of clients who slag themselves off in the mirror then pop out for cake is a great reminder of why having a go at yourself just doesn't work. The intention is usually to motivate but it just ends up creating the opposite result.
End all criticism, this includes to yourself and others, it's shallow and dishonest as it doesn't look at the bigger picture at all. It just makes the mind stressed and creates defensive reactions which just makes life much harder for all involved.
Use encouragement to bring the best out in your and the people around you. This motivating approach helps your mind enjoy reaching the goals you are setting.
It's ok to step off the path now and then towards your goal. You are not perfect and now and then you will slip up. Your encouraging attitude will help you make an extra effort and pay back what you have done to yourself. An example being, if you eat too much one day, eat less the next and maybe pop to the gym, this is much better than simply giving up.
If exercise is on your intention list and you are unfamiliar with gym equipment then book a session which is usually free with your gym to work out a plan for the best way to optimise your time there. I often see people wandering from machine to machine with no clue what they are doing and no strategy to follow. This is a waste of time and becomes de-motivating as results desired will not show. A personal trainer is an even better idea even if it's just a few sessions to give you some ideas of exercises you can do to help you get fit, healthy and lighter.
Something that smokers or over eaters often forget is the legacy they are going to leave behind. This isn't criticism but a simple honest look at the future. I am sure no-one wants their family to go through the pain and suffering caused by watching a loved one slowly die from the most painful suffering due to poor lifestyle choices. I still meet people who years later are grieving painfully over the loss of someone close and due to that grief have had their life made that much harder. Do you really want the people you love to be left with your legacy of pain and suffering? The sad thing is that letting go of the lifestyle choices is perceived to be much harder than it is or the habit gives many illusionary benefits when it certainly doesn't. Invest now in letting go once and for all as life's too short not to and that's not just for you either.
Make your intentions fun to achieve and get support from your family and social network to encourage you to reach them. The more you enjoy it the more you are likely to reach your goals.
If you don't have a strategy then you could fail as the mind loves direction and a plan. If you need one then find someone who can give you advice on what options there are for your strategy.
Get some mind coaching therapy if there are things in your past you need to work with and let go of which will help you reach your goals. Your past conditioning can prevent the progress you deserve which is frustrating and really annoying as it can feed low self esteem and feelings of being a failure.
A vision board can be motivating as it contains images of your desired future but chunk it down to create a board of images which represent the next month or so. If for example you have a millionaires yacht or home on the board your mind can simply see that as too far ahead or impossible.
Your unconscious is like a dog who will go fetch whatever your project from your mind into the future. Wagging its tail it will bring back with no judgment what you were focusing on and will draw your attention to anything related. Great for positive and proactive future thoughts but really quite rubbish for anything negative and un-proactive.
Nutrition is vital for a healthy body which helps to maintain a healthy mind, feeding yourself lots of sh*t food (all brown and beige) will just make it that much harder to succeed. Of course you can't eat brilliantly all the time but around 80% great with 20% whatever is much healthier balance.
Get hydrated! Your cells shrivel when dehydrated and that makes it much harder to have the clarity and energy you need for your life as they can't function properly.
The key to your success is to work on developing your inner resources such as confidence, strength, self esteem, focus, willpower, determination, calm, clear and proactive mind, plus anything else you have within. Helping them flourish is the most rewarding investment you could ever make.
I am here to help too, having mind coaching to reach your goals cannot be underestimated. Good luck and make this work for you the best way you can. Life's too short to give up when it feels too hard when the reality is that your mind may simply just need a tweak here and there. Contact The Life Doctor for more help.
Insomnia, Distraction and Mind
We have never in our history been as distracted as we are now. With lifestyles getting busier and busier and with the distractions we have all around us, there is something being ignored and the consequences for some are beginning to show.
In Brighton and Hove, I work with the issues created by distraction, insomnia is one of them and can make someones life feel exhausting and like hell.
Tim
Tim is a top salesman and he has come to see me due to Insomnia issues. His mind won't switch off at night. Not only does he find it hard to sleep but he also wakes up in the night which is exhausting him completely. His Doctor has prescribed a sedative to help shut his mind down but in reality this is not what he needs right now.
Tim's day starts with getting up and commuting to London, he works on the way up to prepare for the day. He works very hard as success is important to him and then works on train on way home. Goes to gym and then eats, watches television and then bed. This happens for 5 days a week and the weekend is filled with socialising, chores and catching up on favourite shows etc.
Tim's day and week is so full that his mind is constantly distracted, but his mind wants to focus on life, dreams, worries etc but is not given the chance to do so. There is no time to literally think, but the mind is very clever and waits until there is time to think and of course the distractions end at bedtime. Cue the thought processes which have been pushed to one side in favour of other priorities.
Is this insomnia or bad thought management? I got Tim to spend 30 minutes during his commute home to focus on thoughts that wanted to address aspects of his life.
Here is part of my simple therapeutic process which tends to work with insomnia and other anxiety disorders:
I can use NLP, IEMT, EFT, MET and hypnosis to make it really hard to remember insomnia in the past which creates thoughts of fear for future nights sleep.
Help create new positive memories to be referenced which helps future predictions of what a nights sleep would be.
Tim learned to breath correctly to calm down and also be more body aware as he his awareness was too focused within the mind which created an imbalance that needed to be addressed.
I can with some great techniques with the unconscious make sleep a lower priority, as when it's too high and out of context it can cause anxiety as it's too high a priority. Of course this has to be in balance with the individuals life.
I also taught Tim to slow down and switch off his mind and address his caffeine intake which was not helping at all. His sleep increased over the next few weeks his sleep issues became a distant dream, soon to be forgotten. Tim is now more empowered, energised and managing his mind in a more productive and balanced way.
Your mind needs time to think and with distractions at their highest with television, internet, smart phones, gaming, social and work lifestyles it is becoming rare to hear of people spending time dealing with their thoughts. Anxiety can kick in as the mind hates uncertainty and distraction can also be an avoidance strategy to move away from dealing with important issues. This can't last forever and will come and bite you on the bum as the mind is getting stressed and starts becoming overactive and over reactive.
Todays modern society are training themselves to have shorter attention spans, they rarely can watch a movie without checking their smart phones or laptops. They don't read web pages as they skim the information instead. Shorter attention spans create a stressed mind when having to focus on something too long.
Spend some time with your mind, write down and address worries and aspects of your life which need improvement. If you keep avoiding them through distraction then they will chip away your mind until you have to take note and by then it's not a pleasant experience. Put down the phone and focus your attention on what you are writing, reading or watching. train your mind back into clarity, focus and attention.
Life is too short to be overly distracted, have sleep issues which can be addressed and not learn to work and manage your brilliant mind.
If you suffer with insomnia or feels affected by distraction in Brighton and Hove and would like to visit me for a free consultation then please contact me. I can also work via Skype worldwide so please ask me about that too.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Training to be allergic
It is that time of year again where people start complaining about symptoms of runny eyes, sneezing, sore throat and itchy skin. They blame various things for their symptoms including pollen, dust mites, cat hair and now volcanic ash. Some new age and natural health forum sites are full of people saying that they can feel symptoms increasing due to the volcanic ash now in the air.
Powerful suggestions in the media and on these natural health sites are telling people what symptoms to expect and guess what?? They do!
Studies over and over have shown that when we expect to or think we will have symptoms from something that may cause an allergic reaction, we begin to develop them. People in some studies were exposed to a spray with a toxin which they then were told would cause rashes, sneezing, runny eyes, nose and sore throats. Suddenly the sneezing started, hives, rashes and other symptoms followed which increased by the minute. Another spray was introduced and they wee told this would counteract the allergic reaction and sure enough it did with people in the study feeling better very quickly.
Both sprays were just water and the scientists were studying the Nocebo effect which is the manifestion of negative symptoms through being exposed to a substance which would have no effect unless there is a pessmistic or negative belief that it will do so.
Our minds are so powerful and really do create what we focus our attention onto.
You can remove these old patterns of belief through various techniques and I treated my own allergy to pollen through self hypnosis, NLP and EFT a while a go. Sometimes the mind thinks it's phobic to a substance when it simply is not. I have treated lots of clients to let go of beliefs like this so they can enjoy the outdoors, foods, pets or whatever they feel allergic too.
So if you notice powerful suggestions that you will experience a negative reaction, be aware that you do not have to and could do something about those symptoms by using the power of your mind.
Another poweful suggestion by the way is how hard it will be to let go of habits like smoking, this is training the mind to act that way when it comes to thinking about letting it go. No wonder some people find it so hard to let habits go when they tell themselves it will be near impossible to do so.
You can train your mind to release those brain patterns which hold you back and create new ones which make life a lot easier!
Are you a good hypnotic subject?
Some clients come to me with the worry that they can’t be hypnotised and tell me that their minds are far too busy to relax. Sometimes they challenge me to see if I can do it which is odd as they have paid already to come and do it which means that they will go into a trance without fighting it as that would be silly!
This for me is perfect as they are brilliant hypnotisable subjects and probably with me doing very little as they hypnotise themselves daily with powerful suggestions based on their past or futures. They are so good at hypnotising themselves that their suggestions become extremely powerful and have to be obeyed!
They spend a lot of time and energy trying to avoid those hypnotic suggestions which have a horrible habit of becoming self fulfilling prophecies, makes for quite an anxiety based life.
Some clients go into a trance before I get to say get comfortable, they sit there and whilst describing their problem go off into an alternate state that again is so powerfully suggestive. Tears can flow, stomachs can feel sick, age can regress and you can see in their eyes that they are somewhere else, experiencing something that is somewhere in the mind. It runs like a movie with a full sensory experience; forget 3D television this is the real deal.
That is a great time to do the work and the changes can begin to be seeded deep within the subconscious mind. I love the fact that my clients have all the resources already deep within to help create those powerful life changes. I feel like someone digging for oil as when exploring the mind, suddenly there can be a wonderful flow of self realisation that they no longer have to live their life that way.
Are you a good hypnotic subject? Well if you often find yourself daydreaming, wondering how you got from A to B in your car without remembering the journey, have a wandering mind that goes to the past and future makes you feel all sorts of emotions, then yes you are a great subject!
The myth is that you have be weak minded to be hypnotised, this is a load of rubbish as we are all able to go into trance quite easily in our own way. I take myself into trance whilst running along the seafront and program my mind with some very creative suggestions to help me with my life and it works a treat.
Maybe you will notice your mind wandering into trance today maybe whilst looking at the spiral below what positive message could you give yourself?
Allow your eyes to softly focus in the centre of the swirl and let your mind and body relax with each breath you take.
